General Gordo - Grand Wawa

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MOUNT ARLINGTON PUBLIC LIBRARY [Seum of Mu]

GENERAL GORDO

Grand Wawa of the Earth Alliance

As the highest ranking officer in the Earth Alliance, it fell to General Gordo to travel back in time to a place called Rhode Island.
Back to a time before the Raccoon Invasion - before the fighting and those awful smells. The General was prepared to mix into things that he normally wouldn't.
The Grand Wawa of his people hoped, by posing as an Narragansett Customs Agent, to intercept Illegal Alien Packages.
"Ah, what's this?" wondered the General aloud. His assistant was approaching his desk carrying a small brown parcel. Water dripped from the soaked wrappings.
"Suspicious package, sir! Dunked it in the water bucket." His assistant placed the lumpy mass on the General's desk. "It was talking."
"Talking? What do you mean talking? You blithering idiot! Packages don't talk." He prodded the wet lumps with a finger. "What was it saying?"
"Well, sir." The assistant scratched his head. "A bunch of funny sounding words and then glub, glub, glub."
"Ah!" said the General softly. "So - whatever it was, it couldn't swim. Interesting." He poked at the parcel again. "Hello! What's this?"
A message slip came sliding out.

FROM: Racteam 5 coded TO: Racleader
Earthmen have a head and a brain, just in case,
And at least one ignoble pursuit.
A train has a track, and is time-table based,
And a bear is most always hirsute.
-That is all

"Good Lord!" gasped General Gordo. "It's worse than I feared! They're here already!"
"What does 'hirsute' mean?" asked his assistant, still scratching his head.

Twice

Upon

Time...