Alexi Lalas is a solid American star. A classy and highly recognizable U.S. National Teamer, Alexi has been a welcome addition to the 1998 MetroStars.

However...

...sometimes Alexi makes...well... mistakes... No one can question his heart, but on occasion Mr. Lalas makes us wish we kept that draft pick we sent to DC. We are all human of course; Big Red is no exception. But us knowing this reality does not help to curb the speedy forwards that constantly beat Alexi to the goal. Therefore, we the Fanzine present to you the...

Alexi Lalas Stress Relief System

The next time Alexi lets Cobi Jones waltz past him...
The next time Alexi makes an attempt to dribble...
The next time Alexi raises his hands in triumph while getting booed...


....you come here to the Alexi Lalas Stress Relief System. Folks, our product is painfully simple. You come in with Alexi Stress, you do what you have to do, and you leave Alexi Stress-free. Yes folks, it's *just that easy*

Enter for Alexi Stress Relief
Note: you need Shockwave and sound to be properly soothed by the Alexi Stress Relief System!