Sport Shorts
Kaiserslautern defender Harry Koch speaks out against Petke
FC Kaiserlautern defender Harry Koch, Bundesliga veteran, isn't pleased about MetroStar Mike Petke possibly coming to the club.
"I don't know about these Americans," said Koch. "It's a whole different world over here in Germany"
Koch should know. A member of the club since 1995, Harry has been around the block once or twice, and knows how difficult being a full-time footballer in the Bundesliga can be.
"We're going to work him hard, no doubt," said Harry. "If he comes here, he'll be earning his keep".
'Harry Koch' is a funny name.
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Saw me a soccer game the other day. Ain't bad. Yessir... ain't bad a'tall - Joe Campbell
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American decides to like soccer
Joseph Campbell, a gas station attendant from Roxbury, New Jersey, has decided that he likes soccer.
"Soccer's a downright fine game," said Campbell.
Campbell had historically been fan of baseball, a long time supporter of the New York Yankees. But recently Campbell's grandchildren invited him to watch a Major League Soccer game. Ever since, Joseph has been proud to tell friends and family alike that watching soccer is his new favorite pastime.
"Saw me a soccer game the other day. Ain't bad. Yessir... ain't bad a'tall," said Campbell. "You should have seen all these little spics runnin' around like chickens with their heads cut off. They was all runnin' around and runnin' around.... and then one got hit by this other little spic! ...and then he starts rollin' around and rollin' around... and I was like HEY! Get up you damn spic! this ain't no siesta time! hahahahaha.... then they interviewed one of 'em at halftime but I don't know what he said cause I don't speak es-pag-nole. Said he was from Guatimali or Peru or some other godforsaken country. God... damn... spics... they sure are CRAZY little brown fuckers ain't they?"
Soccer is a game that can be enjoyed by young and old alike. It is a timeless game, enjoyed througout the world. From South America, to Europe, to Africa to Asia, soccer is truely the World's game.
"My friend Billy done told me I'm a fag for likin' soccer," said Campbell. "That's not true, izzit? I don't turn into no faggit for likin' no soccer, does I?"
With the advent of MLS, soccer, or 'football' as it is known to the rest of the world, will soon take the nation by storm. Just ask Joseph Campbell of Roxbury, New Jersey.
"Yeah, I sure do love me some soccer," says Campbell. "I saw this Graziani guy though, what with his long hair... pranced around the field like a little girl... Bet HE'S a damn fag."
DC United fan dies
A DC United fan died yesterday in a car crash.
No one really cared.
Michael Mejido sees Nick Sakiewicz at Walsh Cup, gets scared
Michael Mejido visited Walsh Cup X recently, fully ready to enjoy a day of carefree leisure and soccer. He wandered around the Walsh estate, saying 'hi' to those fortunate enough to recognize him, making friends and influencing people.
He then saw the imposing figure of one Nick Sakiewicz.
There he was. Nick. Decked out in cool shades and cool jacket. Looking cool. But, truth be told, Michael did not recognize him right away. Michael simply walked past the would-be GM. But then Michael turned. And caught a glimpse. And those sunglasses looked right back at Michael. That face. Where had Michael seen that face before?
Michael continued on. But nagging at him was a stare burning the back of his head. Turn around he did, and saw the man with the cool shades giving only the dirtiest of looks. 'Who IS that?" thought Michael, and then...
nick. Nick. NICK!!!!!!
And for cover did Michael run! Post haste!
But, as these things go, the shock soon Past, and soon Michael realized that he WANTED to meet the Nick, not be frightened of him. "For he is but the Nick," thought Michael, "and an imposing figure he doth cast upon this small frame of mine, I regardlessly take it upon myself to overcome the imposition and do the meet and greet."
And so Michael set out to do just that.
Outside Michael did go, intent on making a good impression. Approach the vastness of Nick he did, a foreboding figure among the small and weak. Fully prepared to open the palm of friendship and smile the smile of the wise ass, Michael studied Him, his chin strong, his eyes focused, his hands holding.... his children.
....his children.
I didn't know Nick had kids.
"Do I really need to piss off Nick in front of his kids?"
the answer all too obvious
And so off Michael went, content to set annoyance aside...
...for the time being.
And that was the story of Michael and Nick and the Walsh Cup.
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