Michael Mejido is a Lazy F
Have you ever wanted to go square dancing? So, needless to say I haven't been motivated to do much for the page. It's not that I don't like the page anymore, it's just that... well... I haven't had any good ideas. And it's the middle of the season, so i'm concentrating on actually watching the games. The site has unfortunately taken a back seat. You ever notice that Brian McBride has really good posture? Don't worry though, I'm sure i'll get some ideas and energy flowing into this place again. It's just a matter of being inspired to do so! You ever make a really big poop and look at it in the toilet? Maybe fish it out with a clean hand and mush it around between your fingers? You know everyone goes through dry spells. The Masters all have, so why not little ol' Me? Ideas once flowed clean as a river, but yes, Don McLean, the levee is now dry. Faith is all that's needed, really. Faith that I can set aside my lackadasical attitudes and move forward with creating humor for you the visitor. There is something watching me. Why, it's a big friendly black man! HI BIG FRIENDLY BLACK MAN!!! Well, despite the want to change my tired ways, I must hold off for another week. I am traveling with the familia to Captiva, Florida for a week for some rest and relaxation and some good old fashioned fun in the sun! Should be a great time, and when I get back, I'll be ready with some new ideas for the 'zine! I can't wait! There's a girl that walks past my window every day. She's your typical American teen. Wholesome, happy, carefree, her whole life in front of her. But what she doesn't know is that I watch her. Stare at her. Follow the contour of her body with my eyes... Her body teases me... dares me to touch it... I'll touch it someday... with my rigid member. I actually do have one idea that I think will be quite good. But we'll keep that a secret until I get back from vacation! Until then, I wish you a good time watching Major League Soccer, and GO METROS! You ever think to yourself while making a poo, "You know, this poo is about the size of a man's penis. The fact that I am enjoying making this poo is a very very VERY evil dirty thing." Your friend, Michael Mejido mmejido@gti.net
| A Letter to Mike Slivinski
Michael, you have risen above the rest and proven to be the best man for the job. You have been chosen by the voters of this site to be its representative, and now you must prepare for the most exhilarating position an athlete can garner. To be spokesman of the TAXI Fanzine is not really a 'job'. In reality, it is much more of a celebration - a celebration of all that is good about you, and all that is good about the Fanzine. Your raw talent and skill will now cast their considerable light upon the institution of this fine 'zine, celebrating the goodness and love that is our little publication. I think you will find that working for us will give you a great sense of physical as well as spiritual accomplishment. Let us first review the opportunities and benefits that you will receive for being the official TAXI Fanzine spokesman. Michael, you will be featured in an upcoming series of TAXI Fanzine promotional advertisements, such as "The TAXI Fanzine, the official fanzine of Mike Slivinski", and "Mike Slivinski reads the TAXI Fanzine, so you should too". The TAXI Fanzine will also be conducting an interview with you as soon as possible, the format to either be via phone or e-mail. In addition, your image will be plastered about the pages of the Fanzine. With this ploy, we hope to associate the Fanzine with all that embodies Mike Slivinksi; namely, professionalism, persistence, and really really pretty eyes. You will also have an official dance invented and named after you. At this point we're thinking something along the lines of a polka, and calling it "The Slivinski Shuffle". Michael, though you have reaped these numerous rewards (among others yet to be named), your expectations are also many. As new official spokesman of the TAXI Fanzine, you must remember that your position is one of the utmost importance. On a day to day basis, you will need to carry yourself with dignity and poise. Remember, you are now representing something much larger than yourself. When people see you, they will see the 'Zine, so it is important for you always to act courteous, polite, and to be a gentleman in all possible situations. Being spokesman of the TAXI Fanzine is the most prestigious of positions. Be aware of your newfound celebrity and be proud of what you have accomplished! You are now the most influential and visible athlete in the world! Congratulations, and may God bless and keep you. Your friend, Michael Mejido mmejido@gti.net
| Choose the New Fanzine Spokesman! The time is finally here! We are now in the home stretch of the Official TAXI Fanzine spokesman marathon! Who will it be? Who will you choose? Ever since our old spokesman Kerry Zavagnin (defensive middie extraordinaire of those world-beaters the KC Wizards) sold out by becoming 'good', we've been on the look for a new face to plaster all over the 'Zine. Oh readers we are most ready to hand over the reigns of this beast to our new spokesman! But who will it be? WHO WILL IT BE? The answer hangs on each of our lips, much like a cold sore gotten from kissing Gretchen Worthington back in 6th grade. You remember who I'm talking about. Don't pretend like you don't remember, Mr. Swamp Lip. Friends! Enough of the hype! It's time to decide! We must have a spokesman and we must have him immediately! Make your desicion! Now! Below are the four finalists for the job. Please read over their MLSNet.com profiles by clicking on their picture. Then, after you have made your decision, please look to the right of this page and vote in our poll. Results will be tabulated on Wednesday, and the spokesman will be announced on Thursday. Good luck to the nominees! Again, the new TAXI Fanzine spokesman must: 1) Suck 2) Be forgettable, boring, and easily overlooked 3) Be hanging on to their roster spot by a thread 4) Have pretty eyes
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