His name is Batu Jöchi Kipchak Khanate Ögödei Toloi Hülegü Khubilai Timur Jagadei Zahir ud-Din Muhammad Chaolun Baatar, but He asks us to call Him "Jack". We have equipped Jack with a brand new Compaq Presario with full internet access. All that one needs to do to ask Him a question is to e-mail Him at His address:

theholymongoloid@hotmail.com

Rules of Interaction with the Mongoloid

• Always address Him as "Oh Enlightened One", the "Holy Mongoloid", or the "Most High Mongoloid". Eventually when you get to know Him better you can call Him "Jack" just like we do. Note: The Mongoloid will NOT answer any question written by an individual that does not address Him by one of His proper surnames.



• The Mongoloid hates dilly-dallying. Do not bore Him with small-talk. Please make your questions short and to the point!



• The Enlightned One asks that no one questions Him about the current hierarchy of power that sits Sunil Gulati and Doug Logan high atop the MLS throne. Even in His infinite wisdom, the Mongoloid has not found the answer to this most troublesome of riddles.