Welcome to Lothar for 2000 season!

Hooray! Lothar Matthaus is coming to America! I like Lothar! He's way cool good soccer player! Ha ha ha ha! Yes!

Matthaus is METROSTAR this year baby! Lothar kicks mighty ass, dude. "Matthaus U.S. Farewell Tour '00" - hey man, that is great.

Welcome to "Lothar Welcome Page". Enjoy now!



These are pictures of Lothar. Lothar is pretty man, no?

Hello. My name is Lothar! Please to meet you! I am new to this country. I like soccer.

This is a picture of Lothar after being kicked in crotch.

This is a picture of Lothar catching Bavarian snowflakes on his tongue. They say no two snowflakes are alike!

This is Lothar again. It looks like he smells a floating air biscuit! Ha ha ha!

This is Lothar with his ex-wife Lolita and son Loris. Loris bears resemblance to Juergen Klinnsman, no? Naughty naughty Lolita! Shame on you. Lothar is good man.

This is Lothar's twenty two year old friend Maren Muller Wohlfahrt. Maren and Lothar live in New York together and have a nice apartment. Maren gives me a stiffy.

This is a picture I took of Lothar and Maren. He didn't see me, I hid behind washing machine. Look at Lothar. He drives fancy car. He bones beautiful model. He has tight rear. Lothar kicks mighty ass, dude.

Lothar shows plate to crowd. Crowd is happy.

Lothar gives his all. Relax, Lothar! This man is no competitor. He gives you no challenge. This man is not worthy of brushing his teeth with your feces.

Lothar is disappointed if he cannot win. Lothar mourns What Might Have Been. Defeat to Lothar is like a sin. Lothar wears nice cardigan fleece around his neck.

There is no denying Lothar championship of league! He will triumph over you! Watch out!

Why?

1. Germany.
2. Skill on ball.
3. Many years experience of soccer.
4. Enjoys 'beautiful game'.
5. Makes good plays.
6. Has good features.
7. Likes children.
8. Takes good care of body.
9. Makes all the right decisions.
10. Sings happy song if triumphant.
11. Is religious.
12. Takes daily showers.
13. Bones Maren and is not 'four pump chump'.
14. Enjoys rousing game of Yahtzee.
15. Is not disagreeable.
16. Does own thing.
17. Makes good coffee.
18. Isn't embarrased about teeth.
19. Has talkative aunt who shares much about Life with him.
20. To Lothar, money is not important.
21. Likes flowers of every genus.
22. Thinks purple is a 'moody' color.
23. Is able to get in touch with feminine side.
24. Sings the praises of Moses.
25. Has strained coccyx, but plays through the pain.
26. Enjoys the occasional Steinback novel.
27. Watches old episodes of "Twin Peaks"
28. Doesn't fondle Maren when she is asleep.
29. Can balance soccer ball on foot.
30. Scored beautiful goal once.
31. Is excellent saxophone player.
32. Enjoys grits, hush puppies and mock shue.
33. Thinks women are beautiful.
34. Has collection of bottle caps.
35. Orders Far Side calender each year for niece.
36. Has ingrown toenail.
37. Shops 'til he drops.
38. Makes a grown man cry.
39. Has rubber ball.
40. Germany.

Hooray! Lothar kicks mighty ass 40 times! Can YOU think why else Lothar kicks mighty ass? Maybe you like to tell us, no? E-mail here. Send in your ideas! We may like to know them.


Lothar is German.

Lothar. He makes you shiver. He holds a MetroStar uniform like it is nothing. But he comes to America, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, to make things better. To make things great. He wants to make soccer in America be good like it is in Germany. He can only do so much in one year. He will retire, many say, after one year. One year may be enough. Lothar can work magic. Lothar magic is unlike any magic in the world. He can make a soccer team be good. This is what the MetroStars need. Good. Lothar can provide this. How? Because he is a star. He is Lothar. He can take a team so very far.

I enjoy watching Lothar play. He is a joy to watch. I will miss him when he is gone. I don't want to see him go. Enjoy him while he is yours, MetroStar people. He is a blessing for you. Treat him as he expects to be treated. He is special.

I predict that Lothar is the best player in the Major Soccer League in 2000. He will kick mighty ass! I expect him to score 20 goals in the first half of the season, and after vacation probably another 15 in the second half. The MetroStar will be at the top of the table thanks in no small way to Lothar, and all fans will be happy! People will pay money to see this type of show. This is the type of magic Lothar can bring.

Do not be jealous of Lothar. Lothar cannot help being superior. He is who he is. He is Lothar. You are not worthy of flossing your teeth with his short & curlies. This is just how it is.

I once had a drink with Lothar. He bought me a Cherry Coke. I never knew I could be with a famous person before. I felt small and weak. Lothar then looked at me with his large Lothar eyes and proclaimed, "Be not afraid, Lothar bids you no ill will." And I was subdued. Lothar drank my Cherry Coke by accident. Bastard.

Do you want to meet Lothar? It is no easy task. You need to have the correct connections. It also helps to like soccer. Lothar is usually playing soccer. If you play soccer too, it is a good chance you will bump into him.

I always watch Lothar on TV. I sometimes imagine that I'm there with Lothar, on his team. And sometimes I imagine that I'm a player who plays with Lothar. And then I imagine that I'm playing with Lothar, and he makes a run up the middle of the field, and I pass him the ball, and he scores! And then I read in the paper the next day that Lothar scored a goal. And I see my name next to his on the box score. And I hang that newspaper on the wall. I like to think like that sometimes.

Lothar really doesn't dislike America, he just feels that it is beneath his standards. He is Lothar, after all.

Do you enjoy watching Lothar? Do you enjoy Lothar? Are you related to Lothar? If you have any sort of story about Lothar, please e-mail here. Maybe I post your story, maybe I dont.


O foul descent! that I, who erst contended with gods to sit the highest, am now constrained into a beast, and mixed with bestial slime, this essence to incarnate and imbrute, that to the height of deity aspired!

I wrote a poem to Lothar, here is how it goes:

I love you Lothar,
You have been so good to me.
I love you Lothar,
There is no other player I'd like to see.

Lothar is cool,
Lothar bends all the rules
Because Lothar is a rebel
I like cheese.


Maybe you would like to write a poem about Lothar? If so, e-mail here. Writing poems is good fun! Especially Lothar poems.

To read page in Germany, click flag.

To read page in American, click flag.