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| "Dooley indicates number of goals he intends to score for Metros this year." |
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| "Oh wait...DAMN...wrong finger!" |
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| "AYYYYYYYYEEEE I'm the Fonz...." |
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| "I would give you TWO thumbs up but my right arm was ripped off starving Iraqie seagulls. " |
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| "Iranian spy Tozmazadad Dolili returns triumphantly to his homeland after spending many years retreiving sensitive information from the naïve German and devil Americans!" |