Jeff Bradley Worship Page
Jeff Bradley. To say his name is like giving birth to an everlasting word orgasm. To pronounce each syllable... to form the consenents and vowels that together make the noble Bradley moniker is nothing short than total submission to God himself. Jeff Bradley. Say his name. Say his name O reader! FEEL IT. FEEL THE WEIGHT OF HIS MIGHTY PRESENCE BEAR DOWN UPON YOUR MORTAL FLESH AS YOU CALL FORTH HIS HOLY HANDLE. Say his name, and the gift of Bradley becomes yours. He becomes you. His being is your being. Nothing compares to this. Nothing compares to Bradley.
I once met Jeff Bradley in a bar a few years back. I was like, "What's up Jeff Bradley", and he was like "Nothing much, just chillin". He then said, "how old are you son," and I was like "16", and he was like "I'm buying you a beer", and I was like "I'm underage, sir", and he was like, "here's a beer for you, son", and I was like "I can't drink alcohol, sir, i'm underage and i'm lost in this big city and i'm really really scared", and he was like "DRINK THE DAMN BEER WHEN I BUY YOU THE DAMN BEER", and I was like "ok". I drank the beer and god bless it if we didn't get to making conversation with each other. Well you know he was like telling me about his life as a super model, and how the business is tough but that it grows on you. And I was like "yeah". And he was saying that he was thinking of becoming the GM for the NY/NJ MetroStars. And I was like, "like I give a shit". And he was like, "well screw you, damn hispanic bastard". But it was alright because we were both drunk at that point. Then I was like, "Hey, why don't you be the PR guy for the MetroStars instead? I hear it's a more prestigous position and it's a hot spot for prime tail." He thought it over for a second or two and said, "Yeah, let me do that."
Needless to say Jeff has disliked me ever since.
Now, four years later we've gone our seperate ways - Jeff singing in his night club act and writing for ESPN the Magazine, and I making pastries at "Pastries, Pastries, Pastries", a pastry store. I got an e-mail one day from Jeff telling me that I and my website were to be mentioned in his latest article in ESPN the Magazine. At the time I didn't understand his intentions and wrote back saying "like I give a shit", but now I can see Jeff did what he did only out of love, and with the hope of reconciliation between two dear old classmates.
Jeff Bradley is a man to be commended. We can all learn much from him. To walk in his shoes for just one day, just one precious span of twenty-four hours, would be the equivalent of being like Jeff Bradley, which would be a good thing.
I love Jeff Bradley. He brings out the best in me, and shows me why it would be silly for me to blugeon myself with my scissors that are in my desk drawer and have the blue plastic handles. I need to live. To truely LIVE. I need to see Jeff Bradley do his thing. I need to experience the blessing that is Jeff Bradley. He enables me to be a better me, which is a difficult thing to do because i'm always thinking about blugeoning myself with those scissors with the blue plastic handles. Those scissors were a gift from Jeff actually. On them are inscribed the following:
"To Michael, whom kicks mighty ass, Thank You for making a cool website. Here is a scissor to help you understand how great I am. This is why I give you these scissors, because they will never let you forget who I am, and why I am so great. Because scissors are the instruments of the Great. Scissors cut. That is their job. Therefore they are great. Do you have any idea how important a clean cut is for the world? You show me a world of jagged cuts and i'll show you a world of pissed off slobs. Imagine all the slobs who could only paste together whole pieces of construction paper instead of pasting together pieces of construction paper cut into the shape of their favorite G.I. Joe or Rainbow Brite characters. That would be a sad world. A truely sad world. I am great.
Jeff Bradley is great. Never forget it.
Jeff Bradley Worship Page Feedback
Tell us why you think Jeff Bradley is worthy of putting your entire livelihood aside and devoting your life to him. Click here to do that.
"Jeff is a good man. I'll stand by him until the day I die. I love him with all my heart."
'Ekim'
Fairfield, CT
"Hey, I won't lie. I'm just a meaningless nobody with no goals, aspirations or dreams of any kind. I hate myself and I know i'll die miserable and alone. But Jeff Bradley gives me the strength to go on. He's the meaning in my life. He's the inspiration. He brings feelings in my life. He's the inspiration. I want to have him near me, I want to have him hear me saying "No one needs you more than I".
'Ekim'
Fairfield, CT
"Dude is this where you order MetroStars tickets?"
Vincent St. John
Goinbakta, CA
"Jeff! Give me back my Foghat CD! Bastard!"
Co-worker
NY, NY
"Jeff! I'm sorry! Please call me! Look I won't do it again. I never meant to hurt you. Please, call me. I miss you."
'Ekim'
Fairfield, CT
"Jeff Bradley is good people"
Dominic Boongatz
Harrison, NJ
A card from 'Ekim' is waiting for you at GreetingShop.com!
The card was sent on 01/20/2000 18:43 PM.
You can go directly to your card at:
http://card.greetingshop.com/cgi-bin/magiccard.cgi?012018434702471
GreetingShop.com
No Address
To see the article from the November 1, 1999 issue of ESPN the Magazine, click the cover below:
