Bruce Arena was a shy man. Soft spoken, he couldn't talk to the females like the other guys did. His only real relationships were with the retards behind the counter at Mickey Dee's, the stray dogs running in the alley behind his house, and his left hand. OH dear reader, if only these friendships were able to deliver the love that little Brucie needed!

Bruce wanted more from life. He desired to be part of something. Walking home from the movies one day, Bruce happened upon a group of boys playing soccer.

"Damn," one boy yelled, "I wish we had a coach!"

Bruce hesitated.

"Could I be a coach to these lovely young sucklings?" he thought.

He then remembered what Momma Arena had always told him.

"You can do anything if you put your mind to it my little Brucie!"

Encouraged, Bruce took hold of one of the boys' arms and yelled, "I'm your new coach!"

Arena was able to coach this team, the University of Virginia, to countless NCAA titles.

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